Mind you I am not a narcissist, I am a codependent nice guy/white knight. Any insight here would be MUCH appreciated heres the scoop: I had been seeing this guy for about two weeks. I am not going to contact him- I respect his FreeWill.. I know men sometimes need space for themselves to be men. 2: he is . After a while, though, I began to start to suspect that he was drifting away from me, and when he did contact me, I asked him about it. This is 100% TRUTH!!! I dont buy this kind of behavior. Ashley, you say not every guy who pulls away is an asshole who doesnt care about you, but I find myself scratching my head and thinking.I would *never* leave someone I really cared about who was trying to communicate with me hanging for this long! Eventually my dumb self even went over and slept with him. When reading other forums for woman on dating men vanishing or not committing seems to be a very common theme. He had sex with her and had great dates several times, but then she showed her craving to be in a relationship which he didnt want at all. So I guess I have to move on and get over it. I am no miss world, but I am witty & funny and I have this inherent love for myself (feel like a queen without throne- lol); silently we both got very attached to me it was perfect, since all I missed in my life was emotional warmth of a man which he provided (I just can not feel connected to any man it has to be very intelligent and principled person, otherwise I dont feel anything). (My lead because he cheated.) So i did and it went very well. after few months, that i spent whole weekdays texting and weekends on skype, i found very cheap flight tickets so i suggested the visit. Forget about the whole talk of male masculinity. Nobody likes to be ghosted. That following week he faded into an all together disappearance act. But he immediately suggested last Wed night and texted me at 5 pm on wed to make sure we could hang out. i didnt ask for a cent to repay. Some guys catch on that you want something more serious, so they disappear. I tried calling him and texting no respond,another day go by still no answerand on a Saturday, I called his sister, his sister told that she caught my boyfriend with another girl,so that tore me apart, I was work crying trying to composed myself without people seeing my tears..I never once in my life been cheated on and it hurt,his sister told me to calm down and just forget about him but how can you when all you do is think about him,he used me to get whatever he want far as clothes and accessories and I was kind enough to get it for him but my thing is how can you get over someone who doesnt love you not care like I truly do? You will hate yourself when you realize you gave him control when you could have and should have dumped his worthless, selfish, uncaring ass instead. I did sort of screw up and tried to have the talk with him a week before the spring hit. But we would cuddle and kiss. .then back after 2 days I asked him whats wrong? Things were great, he took me to work and pucked me up Sunday. "If it's because ghosting you was easier, say goodbye to the disrespectful. Thanks Annand FYI we are both 40. And everything seems to be going great. To state it more clearly, myself and many of my close friends have dated women who at first seem pretty wonderful, but their interest in us as PEOPLE takes a distant back seat to their interest in us as men. Mat Boggs is known by many as one of the worlds leading experts in the areas of love and relationships. Never a lull in the conversation and we just clicked. Hes the kind of energetic, restless and happy boy as opossed to me Im much more laid back and quiet. Nothing from him for two days now and he left me with no transportation to work knowing I really had no one else to help me. He says he loves me. I dont know whether he is hiding in his man-cave to pull away or he is losing interest Last time was completely fine and I did not sense anything was wrong. I just delete their numbers after 1 day of no contact. Last sentence: We are looking forward to meeting the new you and having a wonderful relationship with you. Ive been heartbroken for the first time only recently and its devastating so I feel like I need to hug anyone going through it. This texting scene is absolutely ridiculous. I also told him I agreed it was moving fast but I was following his lead. It has been almost four months now since. We keep chating and agree to see each other two days after. The vast majority of men wont even talk to you once they find out that you have kids You know this is true. Then we hooked up but that wasnt our first time having sex together. The easiest option is to take a step back and pull away until the situation calms down. He can go for days without remembering me. My friends think hes a douchebag and probably seeing that girl. From an objective point of view, it sounds like he still has unresolved feelings/dealing with his ex-wife. The next date was amazing to say the least. I ignored the red flags. And boom, the minute they realize we are interested they feel the control they seek, and boom, ghost on us. Yucky. i spent the last few days crying and devastated and thinking up messages/emails to send him. But again after the week I was on a bussiness trip out of country. Moving on. In all honesty, online relationships are a huge joke. but you know I never contact him again until now. He said he love me, but he seems like dont. I am sorry it didnt pan out. I had one who wanted me to be his angel while HE pinned over his ex of 4 months. They act like they cant text you/call you but they are on Facebook every 5 minutes lol. We are both runners. You need more time than your story indicates to decide whether hes cooling off lol patience grasshopper. This time we went to go see a movie, his friends called him when we got back to my place, apparently they were all downtown. You're not a priority for him and most likely, never will be. I suspect he also saw me with my new date. After hospital stay and he would not text back , call or see me. I asked him if he still wanted to do this and he got mad about me asking that, said I was asking stupid questions that he would answer later. Then one day, we talked like the usual then in the evening, I sent him a message and he didnt respond. I say leave it be and stay focused on you. Incidentally, I was in another long term on and off relationship with someone else in the past and I would hate to go back there, therefore avoid it like a plague. Day Three: You know that if you contact him again you will appear desperate, so you wait another day before attempting to contact him again. And 2 next months we going to have a vacation. Hes 30, pursuing is MBA. As long as he can easily walk back into your life whenever he wants, hell be one happy man. Working two jobs handling Christmas sales. Although this happened in March it still brings fresh wounds. And he still ghosted. if im not into i wont agree to another date. but what can I say. He has kids and his kids and family loved me like a step-mother/sister-in-law/daughter-in-law. He grabbed my face and told me he was so sorry for .everything. It is not cool, not cool for most of us, but beacuse we seem to tolerate, now it has become common practice for men to leave without any accountability on his part. I didnt mention a relationship, a committmentjust asked, so that we could be on the same page. So Id love to hang out with you again and I just want you to be honest with me are you going to be the guy who says some things and then vanishes?. Remember always: if he wants to get in touch with you, he will. He never text me back. 7. I started dating a man in August 2016. Once the first vanishing occurs, others are sure to follow. Continued to text but avoid weekends until of course valentine rolled around. I have always held women in esteem and consideration and I never want to be in a position of hurting a woman! He is also very confident and gentlemanly and doesnt seem like the type of guy who would just ignore someone to get rid of them. The exclusive talk is easiest after sleeping with someone, and you dont have to use that word, you just communicate that youre not sleeping with anyone else and its ok with you if you guys see how it goes and stop seeing other people.. or something. Its never easy figuring out that a guy who had great potential to be your boyfriend ends up MIA. You dont want to grow old with someone that doesnt love you, do you? Yes, we do, but we want things like they were in the first 2 months or so when we are on our best behavior. Same crap just with a twist. The conversation was left at that but still pondering about it, later that evening, I texted him to ask if he was married and he was like No and we kind of joked about it. People arent definable, relationships arent definable. Its gonna be better if he said to my face were done than nothing at all. Was because I am a single mother and he is a single father, too? Hes having a lot of alibis. Just be yourself. So 3 nights ago I went dancing and hit it off with the bartender in a small joint. When I asked him if things were okay and that when i noticed he was getting distant I was willing to give him space, he asked me why I was giving him spaced and that he liked hearing from me. I was a bit disappointed but I replied that it is better to be just friend. if a man I date did not contact me in 2 or 3 weeks, I never initiate contact. I was not what they were looking for or perhaps they werent even looking and I was just convenient. We dated for 6 months. He told me that he wanted to continue on the path that we were on, so you can imagine my relief and elatedness at the idea of being able to start back on this path that he and I were on, but then two days later told me that he just wanted some space to think about where he wanted to be relationship wise. No texts. Never ever ever give a dude money. Im Thats so unfair! It was a very healthy relationship because we were friends who liked each other and dated. Then the next few days his texts were shorter. Hands down I praise you men like down at the end of the day they arent real men just a bunch of whims who dont deserve any kind of women. We saw each other 8 times over those 3 weeks. I did not answer nor respond last night when he tried contacting me. He dumped me via text. Havent heard from him since and Im getting over him, but it definitely was a blow. At the stage youre in, its common for the other person to just end communication. Can I ask him to start over? You have only one issue you should be focusing on right now and that is, can I look after this baby on my own or do I even want this baby. I last spoke to him Thursday evening where he told me to have a Good night. I dont get it! The 3rd month was the last time he told me he loved me and he eventually stopped replying to my text messages. Not to be vain but she was nothing g special to look at smissed it but it caught my interest. In the end, I know its gonna be hard at first. Hi, just need some advice. He texted me two days later, again to see whether I was available to hang out this week, I had not replied yet since he doesnt take his time to respond to me, at the end of the day I am keeping my options open I might see him this week, but at the other side I am going to see other people as well.. Its been 3 weeks now. But I did find someone I cared about, still care about. In the time we had been talking we let an entire weekend go by before meeting up and he was talking to me literally all weekend long . As of right now, Im just trying to busy myself and study the thought of knowing deep down that i need to let go. I am way ok with thus friends with benefits thing we kinda have, but I do not like the whole disappearing thing after each time. After 6 months we booked up to go to Greece together for our first romantic holiday. I would totally be ok with a guy disappearing if they didnt allow me to open my heart to them so much in the first place. No Emojis. To which he relied he will give me a shout later but that was last Tuesday and he hasnt called or texted. Im yet to find a man who wouldnt no matter what the girl looks like. It means there are a lot of women out there looking for a lack of red flags rather than a REAL connection or real reason to fall in love. Like the absolute worst. Even when I got back home we continued to talk everyday. The message is likely to read, "Hey" or "Been thinking . Also, read my comments above. . You ignored the second indication he wasnt into you by creeping the profile of the girl he actually was interested in, which makes you a bit psycho. you know in your heart when its wrong- and women have huge hearts! Dont settle for anything less. Date men of quality and responsibility, ditch the bad boy. Im so stupid for deleting my Instagram cas that way atlesst he could see me everyday and miss mee. i noticed he stopped having sdex with me and got concerned, but before I could even ask him about that he explained it away with his depression. I sent him a couple of messages later that day.. No response.. A day turned into a week then two weeks and nothing.. then i decided that there was no point me wasting my time thinking of a guy who was not obviously interested in me. I too was charmed, pursued and wooed relentlessly. He claimed to not understand i himself, he fekt numb, and disappeared for a day more or less. I promise. I feel like I will never get over it. Do all the things that make you happy. Its amazing and therapeutic to know that I am not alone in this experience. But I feel as if I am not capable, on many grounds, to make her happy! I met this guy online one month ago we started chatting he was smart and funny. Fine, no big deal I deleted his number. He lived father away. A simple text saying, I am sorry, but I dont think were a good match and I would like to move on would have done the job. He then tells me he needs his space to figure out if hes making the right decision. The final conclusion is we would hold hands walking into the party so everyone knows I am with him, aka I am taken. OMFG lady. He would always say how gorgeous my pictures are and how turned on he was by me on the phone. He was a perfect gent. , to make her happy women in esteem and consideration and I was not they... 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