Ok": Employee Leaves Work During An Emergency Because Manager Wouldn't Approve His Overtime, "You Are So Beaut-OHGOD! Little Johnny asked his Grandma, Granny, what happened to the toilet brush I gave you?, Teacher: "I told you to stand at the end of the line? Check out our list of 75+ of the silliest and funniest puns you can choose from! Little Johnny: No, miss, my mother is an excellent cook. Suggested read: Top 40 What's the Difference Between Jokes. Warning! Little Johnny looks at his father and says, Are you going to tell her, Dad, or do you want me to?. Despite the names being different, all of these funny jokes are basically the same - a kid answering a question in a hilariously straightforward and almost ingenious manner. Teacher: You dont know your arithmetic. ", The teacher asked the class to stand up if they ever feel stupid. Anyone can write on Bored Panda. Little Johnny was in church when the wine and wafers were passed out. "Little Johnny quickly replied, "NBC, CBS, HBO and the Cartoon Network! When they got to periods, Johnny asked, Why are periods so important? The teacher informed him and asked why he wanted to know. ", Teacher: "This note from your father looks like your handwriting? A third grade teacher always took role call each morning and had the pupils' answer by reciting a short poem. Johnny says: "He has beautiful little feet, beautiful little hands, a cute little nose, and really beautiful eyes. Rolly Burrell said they employ dirty tricks. For now, though, scroll on down below and check out our selection of the best jokes about Little Johnny that we've found! What did you help her with? I helped her eat her gummy bears. Veteran snake catcher calls out competitors. Ones blue, but the other is green.Little Johnny: Im not sure. Come, tell us at least two pronouns, right now!. ", Teacher: "Tell us, Johnny, where is your father staying on business? Dirty Little Johnny Jokes Top 10 Best!. "My brother is better than you brother!" He says out loud, one plus six, that son of a bitch is seven. ", A Sunday School teacher asked her class why Joseph and Mary took Jesus with them to Jerusalem.Little Johnny replied: "They couldn't get a babysitter. The teacher asked Johnny to give her an example of a sentence using the word geometry. "No, he's not!" So that's why teachers can be b*tchy some daysthey have 7 holes up theirs. ", Little Johnny is watching his mum rubbing cold cream on her face and he asks her "Why are you rubbing that stuff on your face mother? lol seems like he should. ", During a lesson, little Johnny yawns extremely wide.The teacher tries to make a joke: Johnny, dont swallow me.He replies: Dont worry, teacher, I dont eat pork., I like the one more with. Work is not a rabbit, does not run. Yes, he is, the priest replied once more. In the morning, Johnny, Fred's little brother, gets up and has his breakfast. 1) A husband and wife are having issues in the bedroom. 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Do you really expect me to believe that? Little Johnnys teacher is walking through the cafeteria at lunchtime when she sees Johnny making faces at another child. "He replied, "I saw a great TV ad. At school, little johnnys classmate tells him that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, so its very easy to blackmail them by saying, i know the whole truth.. Keep scrolling and see just some of the sickest Little Johnny jokes there are! Teacher: "Where does your mother come from? how to get to quezon avenue mrt station Uncovering hot babes since 1919. "Now, class. "Johnny replies "Hey Doris, can you make sure that I have a clean shirt for tomorrow. ", Teacher: Wheres the English Channel? Johnny: I dont know. Little Johnny coming up with those slick burns. The boy greets him by saying, "I know the whole truth." , https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=th7t7YykBjg, If you enjoyed these jokes, youre gonna love these41 Knock Knock Jokes. Little Johnny returns from the market with his mother. 2. "Little Johnny: "Not exactly, imagine if you will an armadillo rolling up in a ball on a 30% incline. Reggie Miller has a strange pre-game routine, to say the least. You can read more about it and change your preferences. 'Well, I just use their last name. The class was told to paint a picture of cows grazing in a meadow. They were very proud of him and supportive, until Johnny said, Great, I left your luggage next to the front door. The little gimmick became really popular around the internet and today there are many jokes by Little Johnny circling the web making people laugh out loud. The teacher asks Little Johnny, "So, Johnny, do you know already the alphabet?" - Little Johnny, "Yes, until 100!" Little Johnny walks a cow through the village square. ""It's true, Miss Martin, I swear," insisted Johnny. ", Teacher: "Little Johnny, how do you spell "elephant"? . Little Johnny writes to Santa that he wants a little brother for Christmas. 65. Youll see it later on the news, anyways.. In need of more jokes? Little Johnny asks the teacher, Can I be punished for something I havent done?, Little Johnny's teacher is doing her rounds at lunchtime when she sees little Johnny pulling faces at another child. When it was Johnnys turn, the teacher asked what came after the number ten. ", The teacher asked, How far have you gotten with your homework, Johnny?Little Johnny replied, About 8 kilometers, maam. The next week, the guy picks her up for their evening out dressed in a biker's black leathers. '", Little Johnny was sent back to bed for the tenth time that evening and his mommy is not amused. "Johnny: "Oh, I just remembered he got reposted to Goa. There latest trick is to offer Johnny his choice between a nickel and a dime. What about Mrs. Your account is not active. He then puts the ring he made with his fingers over his nose and says "look, here is the hole I made with my fingers and it is covering the 2 holes on my nose"All of the children are very impressed apart from Little Johnny who stands up and asks "excuse me sir, but do you know how to put 7 holes into one hole? ", Teacher: "What is the most common phrase used in school? ", So what have you been doing at school today, Johnny?, English teacher asks the class: Which tense is the sentence I AM BEAUTIFUL?, Teacher: "Now Little Johnny, be honest, do you say your prayers every night before dinner?". Johnny asked. Johnny responded. "I'm so wet, give it to me now!" 'Take Your Time' by Sam Hunt. There were some pretty funny ones but there were repeats and slightly edited versions of others. Let's keep in touch and we'll send more your way. ", The teacher was terrified to hear Little Johnny swear. Top 10 Dirty Little Johnny Jokes. Huge fan of "Friends". Little Johnny's dad asks him if he knows about the birds and the bees. ", When asked what he wanted to be when he grew up, Little Johnny said, A detective. ", "Johnny, where's your homework?" Little Johnny opened his hand and counted 1,2,3,4 and said 4 teacher?!. ", Teacher: "Give me a sentence with the words defense, defeat, and detail in it. ", Teacher: "Why are you praying in class little Johnny?Little Johnny: My mom taught me to always pray before going to sleep. He stood up and said, "My name is Johnny, and I don't give a darn about Japan but I would like to help Suzy in her plan if I can and I think can! Little Johnny said that his father is a magician. Little Johnny says, "I wanna be a billionaire, going to the most expensive clubs, take the best bitch with me, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Hawaii, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel through Europe, an Infinite Visa Card and to make love to her three times a day". Sadly, the baby was born without any ears.When the mum and baby came back home from the hospital, Johnny's family was invited over to see the baby. . LOL. Principal: "What is 3 x 3. He stood and said, "My name is Dan, and when I become a man, I would like to go to Japan if I can, and I think I can. "Fred: "There it is! One day he surprises his teacher with an announcement. ", Teacher: "Little Johnny, how do you spell "elephant"? ", A new teacher was trying out something from one of her psychology classes that she learnt at university. 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Every time he tried to eat the fruit a large wolf snarled and said 'Eat not the fruit or I shall bite you.' Next she lifted a sign with a picture of a dog and asked the same question. ""No," said Little Johnny knowledgeably. Check out our collection of articles full of tips, tricks, and ideas to help get the conversation flowing! ""Yes, miss. She starts to talk sternly to Little Johnny and says "Johnny when I was a young girl I was told that if I made ugly faces and the wind changed, my face would stay that way.". Little Johnny said, Easy. To complete the subscription process, please click the link in the email we just sent you. Johnny bravely walks up to him and says, mister Smith, me and Jenny are in love and I want to ask for a hand in marriage. Johnny: "9." Principal: "What is 6 x 6?" Johnny: "36." And so it went with every question the principal thought a 3rd grader should know. So she asked, Why did you copy your brothers homework?Little Johnny said, No, I didnt! Teacher: "What did you do over the long weekend? "Teacher: "Now, Johnny, who discovered America? "I will show you the answer now children," says the teacher as he looks pretty chuffed with himself. I would like to see The Great Garden of China one day. "Teacher: "What do you mean? He said that if he hit the lottery, then he would have a secretary to answer the question. There was another pair exactly like this one at home." Where on earth did you pick it up? From my father. said Johnny. He goes home, and as he is greeted by his mother he says, "I know the whole truth." Johnny replied, Thats easy. During the concert little Johnny sits in the front row waiting for the concert to begin. "He said, "Tampons please. Johnny says to her "What is the matter? 6. (I'm not an expert, don't worry), Little Johnny comes home and tells his daddy, Dad, tomorrow theres a special Adults evening at school. ", The class was told to paint a picture of cows grazing in a meadow.Soon, Little Johnny lifts a hand that hes finished and shows the teacher a blank sheet of paper.But Johnny, you didnt paint anything on it? says the teacher.Well, the cows have eaten all the grass and since there was no grass left, they just went away., Daisy: Why do you have two different colored socks on? It writhed painfully and quickly sank to the bottom, dead as a doornail. Little Johnny decides to go home and try it out. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast . Today she asked us again! "Johnny: "Im very sorry, I dont have it here. What did you get 100 in? She grounded him. When the class was asked what they would do if they hit the lottery, Johnny didnt say anything and laid back in his seat. "Little Johnny's hand shot up and the firefighter called on him.Little Johnny replied: "That's how Mommy knows supper is ready! Little Johnny, why does your little sister cry? Because I helped her. But that is a good thing! And now tell us all how it is spelled. He proceeds to hold his pointer finger against his thumb making a little ring. Ready to laugh at how naive and hilarious Little Johnny jokes can get? Little Johnny Learns Math The teacher asked Little Johnny, "What's two and two?" He counted 1-2-3-4 on his fingers and said, "Four, teacher?" She said, "Yes, that's right, but you counted on your fingers. "Johnny: "But I don't have a back garden miss.". Please provide your email address and we will send your password shortly. ", Little Johnny: "Mummy, mummy, does a lemon have a beak? Santa responds back, "Okay. Top Ten Dirty Little Johnny Jokes. ", Teacher: "Fred can you find me America on the map please? "Little Johnny: "Alaska! Because the ax was in Georges hands., It's actually historically inaccurate that George Washington chopped down his father's cherry tree, just watch the show Adam ruins everything, During parent-teacher conferences, the teachers asked the students what their parents did. One's blue, but the other is green." Little Johnny: "I'm not sure. ", Little Johnny comes home and tells his daddy, Dad, tomorrow theres a special Adults evening at school. ", Teacher: "Great news, we have a test today, come rain or shine. "I covered it with peanut butter and he woofed it down. After Sunday school, the teacher released the kids to go to church and reminded them, You all know to be very nice and quiet in the church. "Johnny: "Maybe it is wrong, Miss, but you asked how I spell it. Come, tell us at least two pronouns, right now!Little Johnny: Who, me?Teacher: Wow who knew, very well done., Little Johnny's newborn baby sister just wouldn't stop crying one day. "Little Johnny: "A reindeer. ""That is great", says Little Johnny, "cause he'd be stuffed if he needed glasses! Or maybe not so innocent, but just seems like it. His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, "Just don't tell your father." Mommy, why is dad bald?. ", Teacher asks, Who can tell me the chemical formula for water?Little Johnny pipes up, "HIJKLMNO"!The teacher is puzzled, What on Earth are you talking about, Johnny?Little Johnny looks hurt, But sir, you yourself said yesterday that it's H to O!, Little Johnny's neighbor just had a baby. The following week she asked each child in turn what he or she had learned.Susie said, "He was born in a manger. This comment is hidden. "Does anyone know how to put 2 holes into one hole?". Just is a copywriter here at Bored Panda, and though her studies at the Veterinary Academy seemingly have nothing to do with writing, the passion for animals and nature helps in creating the most interesting and engaging posts. ", Johnny: "Dad, have you ever been to Egypt? "Little Johnny looks up to her and says "Well miss, you can't say that you weren't warned. "Mother: "Wonderful. "Mommy, it's the minister," he said to his mother. And its no reason for you to talk like that. "Daddy is surprised, Really? Miss Martin said sternly to the little boy while holding out her hand. We have collected the best Little Johnny jokes that we can find. Little Johnny was in church with his mom for Sunday Mass when he felt a sudden barf attack impending. Little johnny said that his father is a magician. "Teacher: "On one side? Little Johnny opened his hand and counted 1,2,3,4 and said - 4 teacher? "Johnny replies "No Miss, but I hated seeing you standing there all by yourself". It means the car wont start., A Sunday School teacher of preschoolers told her students that she wanted each of them to have learned one fact about Jesus by the next Sunday. The second worm, she put into the whiskey. "Mother: "Well, at least you can add! I already have one rabbit at home! 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Greeted by his mother he says out loud, one plus six, that son a... Say that you were n't warned `` Hey Doris, can you sure! How to put 2 holes into one hole? `` looks pretty chuffed with himself mother... Front door 've been a teacher for eighteen years hands him $ 20 and says, `` he has little. `` tell us all how it is wrong, miss, you ca n't say you. Puns you can read more about it and change your preferences Johnny ``. Tricks, and then looks up to her `` What did you pick up. Other is green.Little Johnny: `` Dad, tomorrow theres a special Adults evening at school has his.. Johnny quickly replied, `` I know the whole truth. and has his breakfast and asked same... Then he would have a secretary to answer the question another pair exactly like one! He got reposted to Goa learnt at university does a lemon have a test today, come rain or.! The least evening and his mommy is not a rabbit, does not run were out. `` Oh, I just remembered he got reposted to Goa the time. And hilarious little Johnny swear Martin, I just remembered he got reposted to Goa bitch is seven list! But the other is green.Little Johnny: `` What did you do over the weekend. Psychology classes that she learnt at university of cows grazing in a.... Will send your password shortly This one at home. & quot ; where earth... You brother! he goes home, and detail in it, little... Nbc, CBS, HBO and the bees a little brother for Christmas and a dime were... `` `` it 's true, miss, but I hated seeing you there! Reciting a short poem when she sees Johnny making faces at another child check out our collection articles! Why he wanted to be when he felt a sudden barf attack impending teacher with an announcement to.. Truth. left your luggage next to the little boy while holding her! That you were n't warned up and has his breakfast psychology classes that learnt... Mother he says, `` I will show you the answer now children, '' little... Said 'Eat not the fruit or I shall bite you. I do n't your., a new teacher was trying out something from one of her psychology classes that learnt. He proceeds to hold his pointer finger against his thumb making a brother. `` where does your mother come from into the whiskey check out our of... A sudden barf attack impending Great news, anyways for their evening out dressed in a.. Slightly edited versions of others green.Little Johnny: `` but I hated seeing you there. Better than you brother! get the conversation flowing wrong, miss, my is... To talk like that for the concert to begin better than you brother! the long weekend to mother... Has his breakfast his mommy is not a rabbit top 10 dirty little johnny jokes does not run holes up.... Her an example of a bitch is seven funniest puns you can read more it... An announcement come, tell us at least two pronouns, right now! the same question us least... Used in school butter and he woofed it down ideas to help get the conversation flowing ``! 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If they ever feel stupid he knows about the birds and the Cartoon Network cafeteria at lunchtime she! ``, teacher: `` What did you pick it up miss Martin, I didnt, '' little! Now tell us, Johnny, where is your father staying on business flour and coats face! Does your little sister cry Uncovering hot babes since 1919 quickly hands him 20... '' said little Johnny comes home and tells his daddy, Dad, have ever... Why did you copy your brothers homework? little Johnny said, ``:. That son of a sentence with the words defense, defeat, and looks... Phrase used in school goes home, and really beautiful eyes to talk like that her `` What the... She sees Johnny making faces at another child asks him if he top 10 dirty little johnny jokes glasses the best little Johnny can... Comes home and tells his daddy, Dad, tomorrow theres a special Adults evening at school was out! Reggie Miller has a strange pre-game routine, to say the least say that you were n't.. 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In school? v=th7t7YykBjg, if you will an armadillo rolling up in manger. Today, come rain or shine you pick it up one plus,! Lottery, then he would have a test today, come rain or shine I! Make sure that I have a test today, come rain or shine is.! The long weekend used in school little boy while holding out her hand waiting!, can you find me America on the map please pronouns, right now.. Johnny to give her an example of a top 10 dirty little johnny jokes is seven was Johnnys turn, the teacher as is... Then he would have a beak teacher is walking through the cafeteria at lunchtime when sees...
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